Thursday, November 18, 2004
The Handicapped Bathroom.
O, handicapped bathroom, how I do love thee. Roomy, private oasis in the cubicle desert. Sanctuary. Here's why:
Enter, stretch your legs, close your eyes, and don't forget your book. There isn't even a handicapped person on this floor. It's your's for as long as you can hold it. Fully equipped with a safety bar on which you can hang your newspaper or behind which you can store your book as you prepare for a break that doesn't count. Wedge a roll of tp on top of it and take a nap.
And, lo and behold, your very own sink with, tilted and extra wide for easy washing Do your eyes play tricks or is that mirror especially flattering? Stop. Check yourself out and make sure. You have the time. And the space. And the privacy. Bathe your self with paper towels and lotion soap. Clean stains, check for blemishes. Stare at your hairy belly. No one can see and no one will bother you.
Handicapped bathroom, you are my Secret Garden. My path to Narnia. My Dutch attic where I hide from the management Nazis. I love you, handicapped bathroom, and I know I always will.
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O, handicapped bathroom, how I do love thee. Roomy, private oasis in the cubicle desert. Sanctuary. Here's why:
Enter, stretch your legs, close your eyes, and don't forget your book. There isn't even a handicapped person on this floor. It's your's for as long as you can hold it. Fully equipped with a safety bar on which you can hang your newspaper or behind which you can store your book as you prepare for a break that doesn't count. Wedge a roll of tp on top of it and take a nap.
And, lo and behold, your very own sink with, tilted and extra wide for easy washing Do your eyes play tricks or is that mirror especially flattering? Stop. Check yourself out and make sure. You have the time. And the space. And the privacy. Bathe your self with paper towels and lotion soap. Clean stains, check for blemishes. Stare at your hairy belly. No one can see and no one will bother you.
Handicapped bathroom, you are my Secret Garden. My path to Narnia. My Dutch attic where I hide from the management Nazis. I love you, handicapped bathroom, and I know I always will.
An exchange I heard between mother and son:
"Ok, now spell Above."
"A-B--VE."
"What?"
"V-E."
"You forgot a letter."
" . . . . M."
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"Ok, now spell Above."
"A-B--VE."
"What?"
"V-E."
"You forgot a letter."
" . . . . M."
I know that we must be ever vigilant. That we live in a world of Terrorism and we must take measures to be secure. But not at the cost of our rights and freedoms. Not at the cost of freedom of speech, asembly, privacy. I'd rather we were attacked again than lose our freedoms. I am more than willing to risk the lives of innocent New Yorkers, is what I'm saying.
A
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A
Shopping list definitions
Mayo: Spanish for May
Ketchup: What I will never do in my notebook
Crackers: A term for my mental state
Fish: A curmudgeonly old detective
Lemon: The opposite of Matthau
Broccoli: A bacteria that affects vegetables (see Ecoli)
Fries: A food higly associated with freedom
Sausages: To view some wise people (I Sau-sages)
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Mayo: Spanish for May
Ketchup: What I will never do in my notebook
Crackers: A term for my mental state
Fish: A curmudgeonly old detective
Lemon: The opposite of Matthau
Broccoli: A bacteria that affects vegetables (see Ecoli)
Fries: A food higly associated with freedom
Sausages: To view some wise people (I Sau-sages)
