Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Reality TV
I don't like to talk about reality tv because everyone does but with the Bachelor, and that one with women in the outback competing for a man, and "Meet Your New Mommy," and especially the arranged marriage one "Married by America," I feel my hand is forced. So . . .
I'm going to make the sequel and it's going to be:
A bunch of women get let out to run around in a big corral. Then a bunch of men with blowguns will stand around it and shoot tranquilizer darts. Whoever they hit, they get to keep. They hit two or three, they have a harem and move to Utah.
Just to make it playful, we'll charge each man a buck to participate. Call it "Buy Mt Cunt For A Dollar."
Guaranteed hit.
P.S By the way, the sequel to "Meet Your New Mommy" will be called "Take My Wife, Please."
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I don't like to talk about reality tv because everyone does but with the Bachelor, and that one with women in the outback competing for a man, and "Meet Your New Mommy," and especially the arranged marriage one "Married by America," I feel my hand is forced. So . . .
I'm going to make the sequel and it's going to be:
A bunch of women get let out to run around in a big corral. Then a bunch of men with blowguns will stand around it and shoot tranquilizer darts. Whoever they hit, they get to keep. They hit two or three, they have a harem and move to Utah.
Just to make it playful, we'll charge each man a buck to participate. Call it "Buy Mt Cunt For A Dollar."
Guaranteed hit.
P.S By the way, the sequel to "Meet Your New Mommy" will be called "Take My Wife, Please."
©
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Jesus and Buddha
Jesus and buddha were talking one day and Jesus said to Buddha, "The only way to reach heaven is for all people to recognize my suffering, and to understand that they are burdened with Original sin. That they are not able to attain the kingdom of heaven without my assent. Without that, they are damned."
"Well" said Buddha, "People must not suffer. They must try to walk the eightfold path, to attain wisdom, virtue, and powers of concentration. If they cannot, they will not be freed from the Earth, but will have to try again in another form."
"My kingdom will be shared with all those who recognize me as their one Lord and Savior, and to them will be given dominion over all of the beasts on Earth."
"People must realize that this world is a world shared by all beings, and that all beings on the Earth are equals," said Buddha.
"If people who are of the same gender lay together, they will not attain the kingdom of heaven. They will be damned for all eternity," said Jesus.
"People must find their own path to happiness in this regard. As long as their actions do not cause suffering to themselves or others, I say let them do what brings them peace," said Buddha.
"Well, you're fat," said Jesus.
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Jesus and buddha were talking one day and Jesus said to Buddha, "The only way to reach heaven is for all people to recognize my suffering, and to understand that they are burdened with Original sin. That they are not able to attain the kingdom of heaven without my assent. Without that, they are damned."
"Well" said Buddha, "People must not suffer. They must try to walk the eightfold path, to attain wisdom, virtue, and powers of concentration. If they cannot, they will not be freed from the Earth, but will have to try again in another form."
"My kingdom will be shared with all those who recognize me as their one Lord and Savior, and to them will be given dominion over all of the beasts on Earth."
"People must realize that this world is a world shared by all beings, and that all beings on the Earth are equals," said Buddha.
"If people who are of the same gender lay together, they will not attain the kingdom of heaven. They will be damned for all eternity," said Jesus.
"People must find their own path to happiness in this regard. As long as their actions do not cause suffering to themselves or others, I say let them do what brings them peace," said Buddha.
"Well, you're fat," said Jesus.
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