Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Is it just me, or one has anyone else noticed that Fox news is really conservative. I mean, what is up with that?
But seriously folks, conservatism aside, what I have noticed on Fox lately is that it is the flagship station of kidnapping and molestation. I haven't done any sort of official survey, but it seems like at least 50% of the stories on Fox news every night are either kidnapping, molestation, kidnapping and molestation, or almost kidnapped and most-likely-would've-been-molested stories.
It's a really strange and lurid and dirty form of reporting. And I'm sure there are negatives, too.
Why do they cover these types of stories so extensively? You don't see nearly as many of these types of stories on other local newscasts, or even in the papers. As far as I can tell, the two strongest possibilities are:
1. They do it strictly for ratings, as luridness sells OR
2. All republicans are pedophiles.
And don't look at me, I voted for Ralph Nader last time. I cannot think of a less lurid candidate for president.
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But seriously folks, conservatism aside, what I have noticed on Fox lately is that it is the flagship station of kidnapping and molestation. I haven't done any sort of official survey, but it seems like at least 50% of the stories on Fox news every night are either kidnapping, molestation, kidnapping and molestation, or almost kidnapped and most-likely-would've-been-molested stories.
It's a really strange and lurid and dirty form of reporting. And I'm sure there are negatives, too.
Why do they cover these types of stories so extensively? You don't see nearly as many of these types of stories on other local newscasts, or even in the papers. As far as I can tell, the two strongest possibilities are:
1. They do it strictly for ratings, as luridness sells OR
2. All republicans are pedophiles.
And don't look at me, I voted for Ralph Nader last time. I cannot think of a less lurid candidate for president.
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Friday, April 09, 2004
This is a totally inappropriate subject to be typing about in my cubical at work, but I have to get it out.
Ok guys. Here we go. This is by far the hottest thing that ever happened to me. There I am, standing there, with the woman who eventually became my love, and the sun is shining in, peeking through the blinds so that it makes stripes on her bare skin. And her hair is fanned out on the pillow beneath her head, and her legs are held just so. Just so that her center is shadowed in the most secret and tantalizing way. And I can smell the promise of sex in the air, and the ions around my body are charged with anticipation, so I can feel their tingle on my skin. And she gets up on her knees, and arches her back, and she splays her left leg out to the side, and her breasts stand out, and her nipples are pink and erect. And her eyes are the deepest, wildest green, and she crooks her finger at me, and smiles this incredible slow smile and her breath is so sweet and it causes me to shivver and flush wherever it brushes my skin and sh-wait what the . . . shit. Fire drill.
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Ok guys. Here we go. This is by far the hottest thing that ever happened to me. There I am, standing there, with the woman who eventually became my love, and the sun is shining in, peeking through the blinds so that it makes stripes on her bare skin. And her hair is fanned out on the pillow beneath her head, and her legs are held just so. Just so that her center is shadowed in the most secret and tantalizing way. And I can smell the promise of sex in the air, and the ions around my body are charged with anticipation, so I can feel their tingle on my skin. And she gets up on her knees, and arches her back, and she splays her left leg out to the side, and her breasts stand out, and her nipples are pink and erect. And her eyes are the deepest, wildest green, and she crooks her finger at me, and smiles this incredible slow smile and her breath is so sweet and it causes me to shivver and flush wherever it brushes my skin and sh-wait what the . . . shit. Fire drill.
©
Monday, April 05, 2004
So the DNC is coming to Boston in July to choose their presidential candidate. Ok.
Now, here is something new that my ignorant male ass learned today. D&C (or d'nc) is also how one refers to a medical procedure wherein a very early pregnancy abortion is performed by scraping the inside of the uterus.
Thats perfect.
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Now, here is something new that my ignorant male ass learned today. D&C (or d'nc) is also how one refers to a medical procedure wherein a very early pregnancy abortion is performed by scraping the inside of the uterus.
Thats perfect.
Friday, April 02, 2004
So after carrying on like a maniac in the entries below about the prank I sniffed out on April Fool's day, this happened to me:
That day I leave my office. To get home I have to take the 50 bus from Forest Hills. I go to get on the bus, and the driver says to me, "Outta service."
I go," What? Ah . . . oh, this isn't going to be the 50?"
He goes, "April fools."
He got me, the bastard.
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That day I leave my office. To get home I have to take the 50 bus from Forest Hills. I go to get on the bus, and the driver says to me, "Outta service."
I go," What? Ah . . . oh, this isn't going to be the 50?"
He goes, "April fools."
He got me, the bastard.
Thursday, April 01, 2004
So, I'm not going to post those pms. The joke is over, and really, it's not worth geting into a personal argument with someone. I will say though, that in those pms, I was threatened physically for having figured out a prank and making the pranksters sweat about it. I will also say that because of the slight build, delicate constitution, and genteel nature of the threatener, it did not dawn on me that the threats might really be serious until much later that day. Turns out they weren't though, and I received an apology. Anyway, this will be the last time I mention the Studio's website. that is not to say that the Comedy studio itself isn't worthwhile. It is a great place to see really cool comedy, for any of you that are interested.
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fools! April fools jokes, I can take or leave really. But it's the lame ones that I really like. Recently a certain online community which will remain thecomedystudio.com, tried to pull off a large scale April fools joke. unfortunately, things like using a phone number where someone who would play along might answer, or not over doing whiny protests, or coming up with credible fake names or email addresses never occured to them. Hence, I loved this april fools joke, because it was easily discerned and then, because of their arrogance, the perps were easily toyed with. I guess what this verbose and bitchy mesage really means is, " BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You can not defeat me for I. . . am better . . . than you. Thanks guys, that was a fucking blast. I will probably post some private messages here later that were hilarious in context.
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